Wandering

Biggest annoyance of the day: Deciding to walk home and realising that you need to bag up and take home 10 pounds of stuffed panda bears…that was annoying…

I just wanted to come on here and rant for a second because I felt that I needed to. 

I am upset that I didn’t get the job at the State…didn’t have any legal office experience…and they had said that they loved my personality, and that they thought that it would be bad for someone with my personality to be working behind a desk for 8 hours, but that’s what I want to do.  I am tired of dealing with customers…well, customers that don’t understand, anyway.  Well I am trying for a job at Stormont-Vail, so I really hope that I get that one. That would be awesome!

Love Supremely,

The Mexican 

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Second Time Around

Okay, this is going to be the second time that I have done this entry…because Internet Explorer is a piece of shit, and when I saved, it said “Internet Explorer Couldn’t Display Page,” whatever, then of course I try to reload the page, and everything that I did was gone…God damn it…well, as I think I said in the last one, I was going to do some of this yesterday, but I was so damn tired, I decided to wait until today.  I’ll talk about Worlds of Fun tomorrow.

Love Supremely,

The Mexican

The Beginning of The Rest of My Life

*EDIT: I edited this, and it used to be a long ass entry, but as I’ve broken up with my fiance, I edited it, so there you go.

Hey, you know, I think that the title sounded good to me…this one is going to be something that I’ve needed to get out since yesterday, but since I was so effing tired from Worlds of Fun yesterday…but I’ll talk about that later, probably tomorrow.

Love Supremely,

The Mexican

David’s Bridal

Work was interesting today. I didn’t really have a whole lot to do, not that that’s news, but thought I’d just throw it in there.  I went with Tweedledee about 6:15 to David’s Bridal to do some stuff with a customer.  Not supposed to talk about it really, so that’s all I will say.  But we were having fun looking around the store…God, did I want to try on dresses!  I was just having fun being there and the ladies we were working with were really nice and sweet.  And spending some time with Tweedledee outside of the store wasn’t that bad…but I know that she was having a really bad day, so I’m glad that she had so much fun.

Tomorrow should be fun…we will be going to Harrah’s casino to have family time…which is great since we’re all old enough and everything.  It’s going to be me, Sweet-N-Low, Nickos, Sweater, Vern, Thumb, Nini, D-Rok, and Shane…Shane doesn’t get a fun name cos I don’t really know him .  So I’ll let you know what happens tomorrow.  Ideally, I would like to win about 3 or 4 couple hundred thousand dollar jackpots, then I would be happy…I’ll try Blackjack and some slots, see how I fare.

Love Supremely,

The Mexican

Excess and Frustration

This might be kind of short, but I had a lot happen, so I have to get it out.

I am so tired of people not understanding my side of things. I just want people to have a sense that I am happy and that I’m doing what’s right for me.

I’ve never been a patient person, especially with adults, and I’m still not.  I don’t want people to be completely turned over to how I think or what I’m thinking.  I just want someone to understand.

Love Supremely…always,

The Mexican

All Things Farscape & Swiss Potato Casserole

Today wasn’t as bad as work has been…meaning that I worked with JM and KN today, and being Sunday it’s always pretty busy.  However it’s a toss-up as to how it will be.  We’re either busy in a good way, or busy with nutsos all day. 

It was definitely a Nutso Day.

People were a little crazy today, but nothing bad.  I loved working with JM and KN today because they’re easy-going and they’re not all high strung like others that I work with.  Well, except for Mr. Hummel, he’s cool too.

Anyway, I got home and had some dinner waiting for me…hamburgers and swiss potato casserole…never had it before and it was very good.  And I decided to watch Farscape for a while.  I haven’t watched it in a long while, and I remember why I love it so much.  The story line is great, and the fact that it has humor that I can understand is even better.

My mind is kind of scrambled right now.  Kind of vague, yes, but that’s how it feels.  I feel happy about quite a few things right now, annoyed with my boss and a co-worker, nervous about my job prospects, anxious, excited, indifferent…it sounds kind of pathetic, but I do feel all of those at the same time.  Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but that’s just how I am.  It’s not because I’m a woman…I know quite a few men that I don’t understand…but I’m just in a mood recently.  *sigh* 

And not this coming Saturday, but next Saturday, the 13th, my family and I are going to Worlds of Fun.  This will be extremely interesting as it will be Sweet-N-Low, Nickos, Thumb, me, Sweater, Vern, Old Man, Nini, D-Rok and a friend of his.  Notice that everyone has someone to hang with but me.  I know, I know, it sounds childish, but it’s true.  I love my brothers, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just that I don’t want to hang with them the whole time, and while I love Sweet-N-Low and them, I don’t want to hang with them either.  Just once I’d like to go to WOF and just hang with someone by myself.   It’s much easier to do rides and stuff when it’s just two people as opposed to six.  Oh well, I’ll get to be with my family for a day, so that will be nice.  Afterwards we’re going to go somewhere to eat for Nickos’s birthday, which is the 9th.

Eh, I just want to move somewhere lately.  I don’t know why, I just do.  Some place where I can just go and do what I want to do, with whomever I want to, and not have to worry about anything else. *sigh* I need another vacation.

There was something that I heard on (of all things) an episode of Farscape that I watched.  One of the main characters, Aeryn, is a soldier, so she is trained, among other things, to always keep control of her emotions, and she is talking with this man about that.  They tried to go rock climbing, he lied to her about being an expert at it, he fell and got them both jacked up.  They just met recently, and he had been pursuing her very actively.  And Crichton is the main character who Aeryn tries to deny her feelings for.

Man – “I’m sorry I brought this on you.”
Aeryn – “Do you always pursue women you don’t know?”
M – “If I’m drawn to them.”
A – *scoff*
M- “Would you be lying here helpless, giving up, if Crichton were back there waiting for you?”
A – “You wouldn’t understand.”
M – “Does your leg hurt? It’s broken.”
A – “I’m trained to deal with that.”
M – “That’s the answer. You’re not trained to deal with emotions so you’re afraid of them. Emotional pain you wear like a badge. It means you’ve been there. And it can’t get calloused because each fresh hurt stings like the first.”
A – “Why would you want that?!”
M – “Because of all the days before it hurts. The good days…when you’re in love.”
*PAUSE*
M – “It’s too bad you can’t get back to at least tell Crichton how you feel.”
A – “What difference would it make? He’s a frelling statute!”
M – “But he can hear. He can see. He’ll know, Aeryn. At least he’ll know.”

The whole statute thing…if you want to know I’ll tell you sometimes, it’s kinda funny.  But aside from that, I realise that I’ve been like this. That when I do things, it is because that is how I’ve learned to do them. I have never been instructed in emotions, how to feel…I have been taught from a very early age that I had to keep my emotions in check always…must be why I don’t show my attitude when I should…but I’ve learned to open myself up and to explore and enjoy my emotions as they run through me.  And to experience them proudly. 

I don’t know if any of that made sense, but I hope it helped explain things enough.

Love Supremely,

The Mexican